“Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you” – Maori Proverb

sunI’ve been absent from this blog space for awhile – wow, since April! – but I’ve continued reading other blogs and living solidly in recovery. I think it’s time for me to recommit to posting at least monthly, because I know how helpful it is to read about the lives of others with years behind them. If this blog has a primary goal, it’s to inspire people who still struggle to create a rewarding life without the buzz. So here’s what I’ve been up to.

What I’ve survived so far this year:

February – My amazing mom died unexpectedly.

March – My “baby” brother went through detox and treatment for heroin addiction. My youngest son, 18, moved out of the house.

April – June – I helped clear my mom’s house and put it on the market. Sold the new car she’d bought to celebrate her successful cancer surgery just months before she died suddenly of something else. I did my best to remain the strong oldest daughter in support of my siblings.

July – A visit to my 84 year old dad made it clear that his days of independent living are numbered and he needs help with a transition.

August – Closing on my mom’s house; time to distribute the proceeds of her estate. Delayed grief creeps in.

Throughout all of this, I continued working a full-time job, a part-time job, and began a volunteer job.

How life is better now than it was 3 years ago, despite recent challenges:

I don’t take things personally. Each person on this earth is living their unique existence as they best know how. As I cross paths with others, there will be points of connection both positive and negative, but my existence is peripheral to theirs.

I allow other people their experiences and space. I try to tread lightly.

I don’t waste (much) time feeling righteously indignant. (“What gives him the right to be angry at me?”) I jump more quickly to accountability. (“How could I have handled this communication differently?”) I respect myself more when I do this, and it becomes easier each time.

I establish limits and boundaries. I pause before making a commitment and have a small conversation with myself. My decisions are more thoughtful and less squishy.

I move through my sadness, and sometimes I move slowly. I allow myself to live with my feelings as long as I continue to do the next right thing.

I follow my interests. I didn’t know that making hand-stamped jewelry would be rewarding until I was inspired to try it. Now it’s an activity that blends into my life and gives new opportunities for sharing.

I’m grateful every day and I share that gratitude with a group of sober women like me.

I embrace cherish my sobriety and don’t take it for granted. Protecting it is my highest priority. From that foundation, not drinking is easy.

Have you been put to the test in recovery and survived it as a better person? Please share!



10 Comments on ““Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you” – Maori Proverb”

  1. I love your mentality. What a fitting quote at the beginning of this post. It is amazing how much our lives can transform when we are intentionally positive–whether that looks like following an interest or allowing ourselves to sit with our feelings so long as we do “the next right thing.”

    I know all that you’ve dealt with is bit easy, but it is inspiring to hear about how you’ve let it all process. Thanks!

  2. Wow…that’s quite a lot on your plate…so sorry to hear about all the strife that has gone on in your life. ugh. I can’t even comment on it all, frankly. But what I can say is that your attitude and perception is inspiring. It really is. Your attitude is amazing and I can’t say how much I would be doing that you are doing…both in being so present with everything and also allowing things to be where they need to be as they need to be.

    I am so very happy to read this, even though it is tinged with sadness.

    I am humbled.

    Thank you


  3. HI, Unbuzzed. I am approaching the 1 year sober mark, and am daily amazed at how differently I experience the world and myself. I gain more and more respect for the sneakiness of ‘wolfie’- and more determination never again to let alcohol drive my life. Thank you for this perspective!

    • LifeUnbuzzed says:

      Thank you for your comment. Wolfie is indeed sneaky, and cunning. Just last night I had a drinking dream and I’m over 2-1/2 years sober. I was SO disappointed with myself, and SO happy to realize it was just a dream when I woke up. I shudder to think what my life would be like if I were still using alcohol to get through difficult times. This year would have been a drunken fog instead of an opportunity for enlightenment and growth. Experiencing a new relationship with yourself is a treasure. Congratulations on nearing one year! It’s a huge milestone, and life only gets better. Trust me.

  4. ainsobriety says:

    I survived my husband going to treatment and being alone with the kids for 7 weeks. A period of deep, clinical depression. The death of my father in law.

    And my life is better than it has ever been. 9 plus months sober. I AM ALIVE!!!!!

    • LifeUnbuzzed says:

      We are better able to get through the tough times than we ever dreamed, right? Congratulations on over 9 months of living life on life’s terms and sharing your success. Thank you for stopping by!

  5. Scott C says:

    Is that a real pendant? Where can I get one of those?

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